Sweat and Beef
by AngryBanana
Summary: I wrote this fanfic for Edmund McMillen. This is the one and only fanfic I will ever write.


Edmund was in the kitchen wearing his favorite apron. He was cooking up his signature beef barbecue for a special someone. The smell wafted through the house. His wife, Danielle, arouse from a deep afternoon nap. She walked into the kitchen and saw Edmund in his apron.

"Oh Eddie-bear! You know I love your beef barbecue!" Danielle exclaimed.

Edmund knew it made his wife extremely aroused when he cooked up the succulent beef with the cheap barbecue sauce from the dollar store, but alas, he cooked it up for another. As Danielle threw Edmund down on the floor and started covering his face with the beef, Edmund punched his wife in the face, knocking her out on impact. After seeing his wife with a freshly brewed black-eye, he had to hide the evidence before the real guest arrived. Franticly, he shoved his wife in the closet, and covered her with the Steven plushies she had sown the day earlier. He lifted up his shirt, exposing his stomach, to wipe off the sauce on his face.

Edmund quickly returned to the grill, as his wife had spoiled almost all of the barbecue. Sweat ran down Edmund's face, as he knew his guest would arrive in less than ten minutes. With all his might, he cooked and cooked and cooked, until his entire shirt was covered in sweat. After he finished the beef, he began to light some mood candles, and he turned on his favorite Barry Manilow CD on the stereo system.

Just in time, the doorbell rang. Edmund had been waiting his whole life for this moment, so his bowels began to tense up. He started sweating once again as he began to feel butterflies in his stomach. His hands were shaking as he touched the doorknob. At that moment, he opened the door to see Tommy's face.

"Hey Ed!" Tommy said with a smile as walked inside. "You're wearing your favorite apron!"

Edmund could feel his hairs rising on the back of his neck. Edmund froze up, feeling more nervous than he had ever been in his entire life. Words escaped his mind. He murmured, trying to find the perfect thing to say to the man standing in front of him

Before long, Tommy began to smell the beef barbecue. He turned to Edmund,

"Ed! I didn't know you were cooking your signature beef barbecue dish!" Tommy said joyously, as Edmund's beef was his favorite meal.

Edmund's cheeks swelled up with a crimson hue. Slowly but surely, he was gathering up the courage to talk to Tommy. Finally, he began to start up small-chat to fill the silence.

"So Tom," Edmund said, "It's awfully nice outside. What do you want to do after lunch?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe we could watch a movie."

At that moment, Edmund knew exactly what he must do. He knew Tommy LOVED the Skrek movies, so he ran to his room to find the DVDs. Tommy giggled, as he knew what Edmund was going to pull out when he came back from his room.

Edmund scanned his entire movie collection twice, but none of the Shrek movies were to be seen. Once again, Edmund began sweating, as he knew any movie besides Shrek wouldn't please his guest. Edmund burst into tears because he was so upset. Hearing crying from the room over, Tommy slowly wandered towards Edmund's room. He reached for the doorknob, and began to jiggle it, but for no response. Edmund had locked the door.

"Ed you can open the door. I won't be mad at you," Tommy said with a calm voice.

Hesitantly, Edmund opened the door. He trusted the Tommy wouldn't hurt him, although he knew Tommy could get very angry very quickly. Tommy saw that Edmund's eyes were bloodshot from the crying, so he immediately put his arms around Edmund.

At that very moment, Edmund's heart stopped. Tommy was resting his head on his shoulder, and their bodies were rubbing together. Edmund was more happy then he had ever been in his entire life. He had nothing left to lose, so his whispered in Tommy's ear.

"Hey Tom. Ever since I first looked into your eyes, I knew that you were the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with."

At first, Tommy was shocked by Edmund's confession. But after five tense seconds, Tommy pushed Edmund's body down onto the floor and started fondling him. Edmund's erection went straight up, but he didn't even try to hide it. Pleasure overtook Edmund's entire body as he could feel the blood running up his arms. He then told Tommy to pause for a brief second, as he ran to the kitchen to grab the beef. He ran back, with barbecue sauce covering his face, and a plate full of beef. He then asked Tommy to lick the barbecue sauce off of his face, and needless to say, Tommy obliged.

Within five minutes, the two boys were naked, covered in beef. They went between sessions of gyrating, licking, caressing, kissing, and fingering. It didn't take long for Edmund to get off, but Tommy always had long stamina. But before Tommy would get off, he asked for one final favor of Edmund.

While shrieking, Tommy said, "Ed. Please go get my man purse, and pull out my needle. I want to try something new."

Edmund ran to the living room. It took him no time to find Tommy's needle. He was ready. He brought it back to the bedroom, and handed it to Tommy. Then, Tommy began to stab himself in the gut with his needle. After a moment, he stabbed Edmund with the needle in the butt. It hurt Edmund so bad, but he held back the tears. The needle ripped Edmund's anal canal, and he began to bleed. Luckily, Tommy held his mouth under Edmund's behind, and let the blood enter his mouth

After ten minutes, the bleeding finally stopped, and the two boys put their clothes back on. Without even saying a word, Tommy put some of the beef in a tupperware, and left for home. Edmund laid in the fetal position on his bed, overjoyed from what had just happened. His relationship with Tommy would forever be different.


End file.
